Friday, June 16, 2006

Interview with God

President Bush talks to God and so does Jerry Falwell. We feel that if those guys can then so can we. Thus, we are proud to present the first ever interview with God at No Dhimmitude.

God, welcome to our blog.

Thanks, Dag, it's good to be here. No Dhimmitude is one of my favorite blogs. I read it daily.

God, let's get to it. What do you think about the state of things in Canada?

Dag, the weather there truly sucks. But worse than that is the creepy little bastard in charge of the Canadian Union of Public Employees, CUPE, Sid Vicious Ryan. I really hate that guy. Recently he pulled a stunt, trying to boycott Israel by divesting from the nation and trying to wreck the image of the place by comparing it to South Africa. You know, Dag, Sid Vicious Ryan is actually a murderer. By his actions, both giving "moral" support and money to killers, by advertising for and sending teenagers dhimmis to so-called Palestine, he encourages Muslims to commit murder and mayhem. If I had my way, I'd hang that sucker from a lamp post.

It's funny you should mention that, God, I feel the same way.

We all do, Dag. Just a few days ago I mentioned this p.o.s., and within minutes the lot of us were up to our ankles in barf. I'm telling you, mate, no one in Heaven likes this guy. I'm looking forward to him showing up for entry so I can pull the plug on him. He'll drop so fast Satan won't know what hit him. We'll have a big laugh over that, I'll tell you.

So, how long are you going to leave him down there to suffer damnation and torture and stuff?

For eternity, Dag. I really do hate that scum sucker.

But, God, the guy seems to think he's doing something moral by sending money and moral support to people who randomly murder civilians. Isn't there anything redeeming in his beliefs if not in his actions?

Dag, don't be so f***ing stupid. The guy hates Jews. He hates because he's a rotten little creep. There are millions of people like him on Earth, and I usually just leave it to the lot of you to settle your own affairs because it's what life is about, good or bad. If I had to tend to every stubbed toe and broken fingernail to keep you people happy then you'd live like animals on coke. Forget that, bud. You live and you do your best as you're able. But then there are those like Sid Vicious Ryan who really go over the top, doing what they think I should be doing; and they wreck the whole idea, doing things so wrong and so evil that I look forward to the day when I can shoot them straight down the tube into the fire to burn forever. Ryan isn't a nice guy doing the wrong thing. He's a piece of shit. He likes to pose as a moral guy but the fact is that he's a hater, he hates Jews, he hates just because it's the way he is. And he likes to pose as a superior guy, making his internal hatred seem godly. I really want to torture that slime-bag.

God, I'm relieved to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Straight-up there, Dag. Listen, mate, I gotta run. Some Presbyterians just died and I have to send those creeps to hell too. It's been a real pleasure chatting you up. Let's do lunch next time I'm in Canada. Hey, love your blog.

Thanks, God.

There you have it, folks. God hates Sid Vicious Ryan. I couldn't have put it so well myself. I'm not in touch with God very often myself but if you leave a comment here it seems that He will read it on His own. I kind of noticed that He doesn't comment Himself but now I know that He does read us. Let God know how much you too hate Sid Vicious Ryan and the evil Presbyterians. You'll be in good company.


A Free Man said...

Do you think you could out in a good word for me with the man upstairs? I'd love to interview God myself!

Sid Ryan said...

Piss off allready! I went to Israel and Palestine looking for the truth, and I spent all day in my room praying while the trade unionists I was with were out busy drinking and screwing around; finally, I heard a voice, but it sounded like coughing. "Who...What are you I said?"

"I am all-ov-you"

At the same time, the room service guy seemed really unhappy, even after I had given him a big tip in Canadian Tire money. It was then I knew I had to stand up for the Palestinian trade unionists against the Zionist entity. My members agree. And we like the Sex Pistols... (whenever one of our members has to swear an oath to Her Majesty the Queen, we all secretly whisper... the fascist regime!) So piss off or i will send some of our boys out to get ahead in this world...hahaha (am I good or what!)

In Solidarity Forever With the Oppressed of the World,

I AM RYAN (cause our bros be dyin')

religion of pieces said...

One question I'd really like to ask G_d , is who the f*** is Allah?

Jane said...

You are constantly saying that the weather in Canada sucks. You even inserted this into you're chat with God. Well, I happen to like the Vancouver rain. It staves off crepe neck.

You being an immigrant from Idaho, I want to remind you of what a middle eastern immigrant to Canada, Dr. Mahfooz Kanwar, said recently:

"When I talk to other immigrants who complain about Canada I say, 'if you hate this country, why don't you go back to hell where you came from?' I tell them, 'nobody begged you to come here and no one will stop you if you want to go. So, go to hell and get the hell out of here.'"

Would Idaho qualify as hell? Just kidding.

I read Kanwar's quote on the Covenant Zone blog. I think Kanwar deserves the Order of Canada for not succumbing to Mulicultural McCarthyism.

dag said...

I'll mention a Free Man to God next time he drops in unless God hogs the whole show again talking about the weather in Canada. Honestly, I begged Him to stop but He kept thwacking me with His brolly.

As for Sid (Vicious) Ryan, thanks for setting the record straight. When I first saw that you'd written I feared you were the notorious Sid (Vicious) aRyan. Am I relieved now that I've found the washroom.

God save the Queen from this climate.

dag said...

RoP, I think Allah is one of those visions of grandeur Sid aRyan has in his persona Moon Bat as Sid Ereal.

Stogie said...

Dag, I had no idea God was so earthy in his comments. Why He's a regular guy! We should invite him out for a brew one of these nights. Maybe we can get him to tell us what tomorrow's winning lotto number is! :)

dag said...

Here's hoping, Stogie. I'm starting to like God quite a lot.

I figured out some time ago that we all won the lottery just by being born. What're the odds of that? And now we're here, what to do about it? Some blame God for all their problems rather than accept the conditions of living and work to do what we can do within those limitations. I feel blessed not only in living in itself but that we have such a great challenge ahead of us.

Stogie, your comment came in as I was posting one of your graphics. Thanks.

eyesallaround said...

Dag, you are so funny! I'm lmao! Can you ask God to direct a bolt of lightening to that shit-head leader of N Korea? That would be great... Thanks:>)

dag said...

No problem, Eyes. Just remember that when it happens it was because I put in the good word.