My Scariest Halloween Ever

The scariest Halloween I ever had was as a boy when our town had its first murder in living memory. It still scares me when I think back on it, now close to forty years after.

Things started out innocently enough with me and my friend Jimmy being told we were too old to dress up and go door to door for candy, trick or treating. I said to Jimmy that it was OK, really, since it meant we were almost grown-ups if it were true that we couldn't go out with the kids to trick or treat. I recall Jimmy saying that if we were grown-ups, then we could go, like our fathers, out to play golf. So Jimmy went into the garage and got my dad's golf clubs and some balls, and he took me to the cemetery for a few rounds. I warned him that we shouldn't do it because when we hit the balls, who knew where they'd land, smacking into a tomb stone and bouncing any which way. I said, "Jimmy, this could be dangerous." He laughed.

Across the field some way we heard a couple shouting at each other. The lady was furious at her husband over something, but that's real adult stuff, so we, and I mean mostly Jimmy, kept whacking the balls all over the place. They were going anywhere at all. Jimmy thought it was hilarious, as I recall it. I wanted to go home and study for school next day and get lots of sleep. Not Jimmy. He didn't care. He just kept hitting my dad's golf balls.

Suddenly, there was the worst Halloween scream I have ever heard. It was serious, and we got the hell out of the graveyard and went home. It was the lady fighting with her husband. She was hollering like a lunatic.

The police came and arrested her for killing her husband, which she denied, just what you'd expect from a murderer. She said he was yelling at her, and the next thing she knew, he fell over dead with a big dent in the side of his head, and that she had nothing to do with it at all. Yeah. Like she'd admit she hit him and killed him. Some people!

We were pretty lucky to get away too, given that if she'd seen us, she might have killed us too. One can never be too careful on Halloween. That's why I stayed home for the next week. I had the flu or something, though my mom couldn't find much wrong with me. I mean health-wise. I never saw Jimmy much after that. I don't know if the lady got the electric chair. I didn't like hearing about it. Whatever it was, she likely deserved it. Me? I was a good kid and never did much wrong. Hey, that's just how I was.