Friday, June 09, 2006

Redneck Special Forces

Bulletin from the Pentagon:

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces.
These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

Thanks CGW.


dag said...

If they came from Idaho the problem would last till Friday.

For now, my money's on Tennessee.

D.C. said...


Stogie said...

Ha, nice chuckle for a Saturday morning.

religion of pieces said...

Rednecks might have some effect, but Islam will crumble before the onslaught of the football hooligans ...

Sometimes the only way to defeat barbarians is to encourage even more barbarous barbarians to be barbaric with the barbarians who are trying to barbarise you. Sort of like fighting fire with fire.

It worked for the Romans for a while until the barbarians joined forces.

maccusgermanis said...

Just to be clear, Iraq is a dry county, right? So, w... er um.. them rednecks you speak of, will need to carry plenty of coolers.

dag said...

CGW sent that in. I loved it as soon as I saw it. It's not only funny, it's really funny because it's plausible. I refer to my distant relative William Walker, a nasty fellow for the most part, who gathered up gold miners from San Francisco around the end ofg the Gold Rush and together they stormed Baja and Sonora and created a republic, and American republic. Walker Sr. was a bad guy in many respects but a hero to me. We, like him, can storm the world and make it all America.

The idea of Walker and the Immortals conquering the world as he and they did is upsetting to many. I put is thUs: Socratic philosophers with guns ruling the nations and people of the world till everywhere is freedom to think as one will. The don't like freedom to think? Fine, we shoot 'em.

I get some criticism for this concept. So did Napoleon, so did Augustus, so did Alexander the Great. It's not a new idea, it's just new to most people, and they aren't comfortable with new ideas till the edges wear off. There is resistence. I say force is necessary at times to create a new space in the mire of the old. Who am I to enforce freedom on the world? I'm one guy, and nothing special at all. I like that. I don't think I'm going to rule the world. I think people are going to rule themselves if only I can help free them to do so. I can't do it alone. We all have to love other men's freedom as much as our own before we'll fight for them even against their own will. I know that most people don't care much one way or the other about freedom, not their own and not that of others. They take it for granted if they have it, and don't mis it much if they don't. But it's not a matter of apathy, it's a matter of those few who would want their freedom and cannot have it and who should. I'm willing to fight all the tryannts for the sake of those few enslaved who will haunt the agora and demand freedom from ignorance even if it ends in death for them.

It takes guys with guns and big attitudes. It takes women and men and people of all sorts doing tasks handed from the aether to them alone. what a great gift. I think we are blessed. I am so happy with our life now that I could sing while Jane bumps and grinds on the table top.