Saturday, October 31, 2009

Big Bill Thomas' Day Off

Big Bill Thomas, not to be confused with Big Bill Thomson, the crook, is-- Oh no! A crook?

Did Big Bill actually steal over a thousand pounds? The courts says, "Wait a while till we count the cash."
Big Bill says, "Hullo!"

We dropped in to find out what's up with the Boss, now that he's between court dates. He ain't saying nuttin', see? We heard what we think was Big Bill shouting down from the rooftop: "You'll never take me alive, coppers!" It could have been pigeons. We'll certainly up-date if we find out more on that. Meanwhile, we visited Big Bill's website for this:

Councillor William (What's a thou. between friends?) Thomas OBE

Events & Sentencing Times

In the new budget starting 1st April we have set aside an extra £100, 000 to improve our parks. Do you agree that a hardworking councillor deserves a slice?

Click on one of the options below to let me know your opinion.

Yes

View previous polls

This site has been built to the high moral standards of a politician's view of accessible web design.

Show Your Pride In Sandwell At The Public's Expence.

Sandwell residents are invited to pick up a pencil or paintbrush (small donation to the "Free Big Bill Defence Fund")for the chance to exhibit their artwork at The Public. Big Bill Thomas lessons in creative cheque writing available for a small fee.

[....]

Welcome to my website

Thanks for logging on

After my serious illness I have now returned to "full duties" at Sandwell Council, taking up complaints, "collections," and other moral issues, though those latter are better not discussed outside the pub.

I was one of your local Councillors until I was arrested for theft, and together with Iris Boucher and Barbara Price represented the Rowley Ward.

Our list of priorities are maintaining low Council Tax increases (cough), continue to regenerate the Borough linked to job creation, modernise Council services Particularly Waste Management. I mean, if the money is just laying there, why waste it?

[...]

I feel very privileged that you have logged on to my personal website and hope that you will visit regularly to check for updates. In future, please check with the warden for those visiting days.

Click here for the weather in Rowley

It's looking gloomy for me, Big Bill Thomas, but what with global warming, by the time I'm out of gaol things might be brighter.

And hey, anyway, what with the ol' peepers on the blink, I thought the money looked just like mine own. That's why I took it. Honest, guv.

Cheers, Big Bill.
A Musical Interlude.



1 comment:

Dag said...

I must here make it plain that I have no animus toward Big Bill Thomas, and I'll make that plainer by stating here beforre the whole world that if ever I'm tossed in prison for being a crook, it will by my wish to share a cell with Big Bill. I'll keep a close eye on my dinner, but aside from that I assume he'd be a gentleman.