Tuesday, May 09, 2006

As in Chess, so in War.

Our friend Nilknarf sends along this piece.

Explosive Pawns

Written by the prez
Monday, 01 May 2006

An updated, Middle Eastern version of chess will hit stores in the coming weeks.

Developed by Ham-Arse officials with their education budget. Jihad ChessTM uses the age-old 64 square chequerboard and one set of traditional white pieces.

However, the black pieces are all pawns with an explosive new "capturing technique".

"Any black piece can be detonated at any time, taking out all pieces within one square vicinity," Jihad Chess designer Mahmoom wez Abedsheed said.

"This much better reflects the way Jihad battles are fought, young pawns blowing people up on our behalf.

"And like reality, black pawns can also kill pieces on their own team. It does not matter how many pawns we lose from our side as long as the white infidel is bombed."

Another deviation from traditional chess is the sleeper pawn – the black side secretly nominates one pawn from the white team which has the potential to blow up at any given time.

"These sleepers can not be activated until the white king has been moved for the first time," wez Abedsheed said.


truepeers said...

I take it this is a joke, but not a bad idea for someone creative to invent a new game craze. Beats my idea of marketing infi-dolls.

dag said...

Infi-dolls? Are those models for little Ali and his brothers to use in practice beheadings? I sure wouldn't want the boys to cut their fingers off.

Or are infi-dolls those plastic "blow-up" things?

Maybe one blows them up first and beheads them later. Or reverse. Regardless, if Muslims weren't such a danger I think I'd laugh. But the joke's on us 'cause we're losing a war against these people.

Fidelity? Today's population in the West more than likely thinks of it as the formal version of Castro's first name.

truepeers said...
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