Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Left Telos: Walmart's Bargain Bin

You know your game is over when the uncoolest people around start imitating you. If you start out in Paris with a really ironic thesis written in obtuse jargon that only your colleagues will pretend to admire, and if you make a living at this for decades, you will eventually see it turn up at the very bottom of the intellectual barrel, right down there in the mould with the potato bugs and the spiders. Such is the Left today, all their sneering and posing has finally reached the lumpen- ? Who the devil makes comic books? This is the last stop on the intellectual skid, I think, before it all turns dark and quiet. For leftards, all ideas lead to loam.

I saw dresses on sale at Walmart. They were Walmart kinds of dresses, if you know more about the details than I and think that's funny. Big, tent-like dresses for fat ladies who live in trailer courts in rural areas is the idea I'm trying to get across. Walmart had racks and stacks of these dresses, all done in patterns from Piet Mondrian, the famous Dutch Modernist painter. He was cool, way back when. Now, 60 years later, his work adorns fat ladies in their moo-moos as they waddle toward the bon-bons and t.v. remote control section of Walmart. They very likely don't know of Mondrian, wouldn't care to listen to me tell them about his colour theories and epistemology and so on. They like the look of the pattern and they like the price.

Yesterday, Mondrian; today, Derrida.

In addition to the recent announcement by DC comics that Superman will soon renounce his U.S. citizenship, this mass culture hero's reconnection with his Progressive roots will usher in other remarkable changes.

Out: Truth, Justice, and The American Way.
In: Diversity, Social Justice, and The Progressive Way.

Out: Superman.
In: Super Non-Gender-Specific Person.

Out: Fortress of Solitude.
In: Fortress of The Collective (offering sanctuary to other illegals).

Out: Justice League.
In: International Justice Union of Public Service Superheroes.

Out: Good vs Evil.
In: More nuanced, less judgmental view.

Out: Crime fighting.
In: Superpowers to be used only to save the earth from capitalism and bad choices.

When D.C. comix is doing ultra gauche, you know it's a matter of time before Walmart starts selling Foucault Halloween masks and everybody there gets the "irony."

Even if they don't really get it.


Dag said...

I feel like commenting on that post. If I don't, who knows who would?

I'm not slagging people who shop at Walmart, to start with. I shop at Walmart. I'm that kind of guy. But I'm not that kind of intellectual. I'm not the cheap and stupid kind who wander around too often in comments sections of other people's blogs making Walmart level comments. Funny thing is that those who slag Walmart shoppers are often Walmart thinkers. The shoppers don't get their ideas from the Walmarts of the intellectual marketplace. The thinkers often do. They just don't get it that they do.

Left ideology has sunk to the level of a Walmart discount bin, and too many intellectuals don't get it that they're buying shit that others laugh at. When vanguard ideas end up at D.C. comic books, you should get the hint that the wave has passed. Obama is Walmart for the mind. I glance at this leftard lack of taste, and I shake my head. No, leftard, it's not pretty and colourful; it's somebody making a fool of you dressing you up in a Mondrian dress. Who? What?

No, leftards are not cool. They are comic book characters. D.C. at that.

Tim Johnston said...

brilliant post!

really enjoyed that, thanks.

Dag said...

Tim, thank you.

Better writers than I have sometimes written that I'm "elliptical" and "impressionistic," and it makes me wonder if I have gotten my point across as well as I should have. Mostly, to take a line from you, I am "a writer of stuff."

Good, huh? Like you, I enjoy writing stuff. Even better when I find others like reading it.