Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Sen. Kennedy to Seek Hydrotherapy

I called Sen. Ted Kennedy today as soon as I got the news he has a malignant brain. tumor. I asked him, "Ted, what the fuck?" and he said, "I'm going for hydrotherapy, Dag," and I said, "Cool, like, go for it, dude."

The senator told me he's going to drive the new V.W. over to the local lake for a long swim to clear his head. I like it-- cause I luuuv the senator.

He's a first rate guy. He said to me, "Dag, you wanna bottle? I'm stopping on the way and I can pick you up one." I told him I don't really drink, and he said,"That's cool, I can drink it for you." What a guy. I hope his brain is, well, I don't know, what's it ever been? Like it's always been. I suspect the swim will do us all a lot of good. Hydrotherapy. If he'd thought of it when he was young he might have been president.


reliable sources said...

Twisted humor. Made me laugh out loud.

When I read about Ted Kennedy's brain tumor, I thought, "He could be another Johnny Cochrane." Cochrane had an inoperable brain tumor and his neurosurgeon was convinced that it was caused by the cell phone he had glued to his ear for years. So I got to thinking: "Ted Kennedy was in the sort of business where he probably had a cell phone pressed against his ear a lot."

But the media had reported that Ted's tumor was on the left lobe of the brain. I looked at a photo of him and he looked right handed so he would have been pressing a cell phone against the right side of his brain.

A beautiful theory killed by an ugly fact.

Dag said...

That's what I would call encryable, or incredible to those of us who speak English. Why, I was saying to Teddy at breakfast, "May-Jo is a beautiful theory kill by an ugly fact," to which Teddy burped in agreement.

The "Chappaquiddick incident" refers to the death of Mary Jo Kopechne, a former campaign worker for the assassinated U.S. Senator Robert F. Kennedy of New York. Kopechne's dead body was discovered inside an overturned car belonging to Senator Ted Kennedy in a channel on Chappaquiddick Island. The incident became a national scandal and may have affected the Senator's decision not to run for President in 1972.

People are so judgmental.

reliable sources said...

I remember Chappaquiddick, I could just never pronounce it.

I saw a photo of Ted Kennedy on the front of the Globe & Mail when I was walking home tonight. He looked really good, relaxed. A little hydrotherapy does wonders.

Dag said...

No, you see, it's really easy to pronounce. Like this: Chappaquiddick.

See, what'd I tell ya?